A lot of things have changed

Since my last blog post, a lot of things have changed. After finding out that my husband had been unfaithful throughout the course of our marriage, I finally gained enough courage to leave my home and job in North Carolina and move back to Georgia to live with my family. I left without a job or a plan, all I knew was that I had to leave from a life full of stress.
Once I got back to Georgia, I felt better than I had felt in a very long time and continued my wellness journey by continuing to eat healthy and working out. I started working for a holistic healthcare place called Natural Therapies in February 2014 and became a certified interactive biofeedback technician. While working there, I also became a certified personal trainer through AFAA which allowed me to become a trainer at a local gym where I met one of my best friends, TJ, and my boyfriend, Michael.
While working at Natural Therapies, I noticed the swelling started to come back, fatigue, pain, and inflammation throughout my body getting worse. I contacted my nephrologist who later told me that I was no longer in remission and in fact, the kidneys seemed to be back to where they were when I first received my diagnosis. He placed me back on steroids and increased my mycophenolate, a rejection medication, to a higher dosage. This created more issues, yet again, with my blood sugars due to the steroids making my body insulin resistant. The swelling continued to get worse and forced me to decrease my regular gym schedule and try to change my diet even more. I realized working two jobs became to much for my body and quit Natural Therapies, only working at the gym.
Each doctor's appointment brought more bad news which included elevated A1C and increased protein in the urine. I found another nephrologist for another opinion and he told me the same disappointing news. He told me that I would not be able to have children in the situation that my health is currently in. I continued to seek ways to feel better and have a more positive outlook for my future when I was referred to a specialist that works with disease reversal. He took many tests and scheduled several appointments to slowly improve overall health. He changed a great deal of my daily routines and removed several foods from my diet. At my latest appointment he told me that, while I felt better, my numbers have not made progress and he feels like within five years I will be right back where I started, completely medicated.
Dr. Goldberg, the specialist, referred me to an institute in Palm Beach, Florida called Hippocrates Health Institute. At HHI, they manage, for up to three weeks0 and reverse diseases by finding the exact trigger for the my specific diseases, detox the body, and rebuild through proper nutrition, exercise, spiritual and emotional support, and several therapies to assist in making sure this is a long term change. Here, I will also be attending several classes, 30-40 hours, to make sure I know how to continue getting better even after I have graduated from HHI. I am hopeful that I will gain the health I need to move forward with my life and use it as a testimony for others that may face similar situations. I am also hopeful that God will bless me with the chance to have my own children one day without having to take even more medication. Hippocrates gives me hope for my future.

Eating our lives away

Every day I hear of someone being diagnosed with illnesses, mostly that will be with them the remainder of their lives. Many of these illnesses are autoimmune diseases that cause the body to not fight sickness and infection as easily as a "healthy" person. I've been telling my family that I am strong in my beliefs that the food we consume daily is causing the health issues we as Americans are facing. The best way to learn, for me at least, is to experiment and do my own research. This is where I started.
All the hype about gluten made me curious about what it is, what it is in, how it supports our daily diet, and side effects of consuming it.  I began doing research and my findings stunned me beyond belief.
Gluten is not the wheat product itself, which is what I wrongly thought, it is however, the protein found in wheat, rye, and barley.  Basically everything we consume contains gluten.  The more I research, the more foods I learn contains gluten. Of course all breads, pastas, cereals, and flours are made with gluten products. These products are the obvious foods but things we would never imagine also contain gluten. From lunch meat to shredded cheese and even cheap coffees contain gluten. Manufacturers use gluten in these products to help the aging process and in the cheese it helps it not stick together like all natural cheeses tend to do when you shred it yourself.
There are people with Celiac Disease that have to stay away from gluten to avoid bone damage and severe effects such as international inflammation preventing the body to absorb nutrients from our food. Others that must avoid gluten are gluten sensitive. These individuals don't necessarily have to stay away from gluten however eating it can cause extreme discomfort and pain. On the flip side, some people need gluten to help the digestion process and can cause celiac symptoms or gluten sensitive symptoms from the absence of the gluten product. Of course I'm not a doctor nor do I claim to know everything about food, what I do know is what I have tried and what my personal finding are.
If avoiding gluten is your goal, naturally gluten free foods are fruits, vegetables, fresh fish, fresh chicken, lean meats, beans, lentils, brown and wild rice, low fat dairy products (I use almond milk instead), nuts, seeds, virgin olive oils, and the list goes on. When grocery shopping keep in mind, the fresher-the better! Beware of boxed food, processed food, and high sugary and fatty foods.
Benefits of cutting gluten include (for some-not all individuals) thinner thighs, reduced belly fat, and even increased energy.
This is what shocked me...gluten, once consumed and in your body turns into a product called gliadin. This product is the biggest problem we have with gluten because once it turns to this, it has the potential to attack organs like our thyroid, pancreas, and other vital organs causing autoimmune diseases such as diabetes, thyroid disorders, and so on. Not only does it cause autoimmune diseases but it can also cause cancer, schizophrenia, and can attack heart tissues causing heart disease.
I feel like doctors should inform patients of the potential gluten has to hurting us, especially if you are more susceptible to these health issues. Do your own research and see what your findings are. You may surprise yourself!
http://paleodietlifestyle.com/11-ways-gluten-and-wheat-can-damage-your-health/

Compromised Immune System

First of all I want to let everyone know I am feeling better from my recent hospital visit however not up to 100% quite yet...thank you for the prayers!
I want to take this time to explain how serious autoimmune diseases can be if you are around aggressive germs. Although I am on my way to remission with my lupus nephritis, I'm not there yet, meaning I'm even more vulnerable to germs. I am a firm believer that if you tell yourself you feel good, you will...same with feeling bad. I try to tell myself everyday, even if I don't, that I feel great.
 I was so thankful when school started back because I got to start working again and pulling my weight financially.  My throat began to bother me but I continued working and telling myself I felt great! Those darling 5 year olds sure do love their hugs and high fives. I finished working the days I was already scheduled and then made an appointment with my doctor to check it out. She said it was allergies and sent me on my way. A few days later my throat became so sore that it felt like I had swallowed razor blades. I called the doctor back an informed her over the phone to which she phoned in new allergy medicine. I ended up going to the naval hospital to the emergency room to get looked at again because I continued to grow worse and ended up missing work because of it. One hospital said I had gotten a fungal infection in my throat due to the bacteria and prednisone use over long periods of time. I wanted a second opinion because they said there was nothing they could do for me. The next morning  I went to the emergency room out in town where I was told I had strep throat and given treatment for that.
I do not remember being this sick with a sore throat ever in my life. Having to wear a mask in the hospital was embarrassing and only being able to whisper made me miserable. I paid a visit to my nephrologist to discuss what is going on and she asked if I had been around germs. Well, yes. I started working again...teaching. She seemed extremely worried and concerned for me which then confirmed my thoughts of a degree change. Having an autoimmune disease makes sickness worse and much easier to catch, at least with the aggressive germs the sweet babies at school carry. I've learned, washing my hands a lot just might not be enough!

What do you wish for...?

Everyone has dreams and goals, some realistic and some really are just dreams.  My personal goals have been to complete college with a good degree, obtain a good job with great benefits, have a happy husband and beautiful children one day, and many more.  Goals, over time, tend to change with life and things become less important as you once thought they were in your life, such as having my own children.  My goals changed from some of these things I mentioned to focusing on me being healthy enough to help take care of my "broken" husband, as I like to call him as well as keep moving forward with my own life and not have "bad days" with lupus and diabetes. ;) My personal dreams however, have not changed.  I have always dreamed of becoming a model of some sort, working in the fashion industry, becoming a Falcon's cheerleader at some point...the list goes on. 
Now that some of my goals have been modified for my new lifestyle, I feel like I can pursue some of my dreams.  I have never taken the time to focus on me as much as I do now nor have I had the chance to really get in the best shape I could ever imagine.  I have been asked several times by several different people if I was going to start competing in fitness competitions once I get to competing status as far as my body is concerned.  At first I was not even considering this but after thinking about it and talking to a fitness model that I follow on Instagram, I realized maybe competition is just what I need to accomplish my dreams.  Competing will help keep me focused in the gym and out as far as lifting as well as my diet is concerned. I am already extremely disciplined with my diet but who doesn't have weak days.  Competing can help me focus on short term goals now in preparation for the next competition that will lead to me reaching my long term fitness goals in the future.  This can also be something I can do to help make extra money when I go back to school once we move back to Georgia (YAY). 
To become a fitness model, many girls get noticed from competing and are then picked up by different sponsors.  As shy as I am when it comes to things like this, I know that without being embarrassed from time to time and taking chances, dreams will never come true.  I really want to accomplish this dream, not only for me but for other girls that deal with many health issues, like me, or even just need a confidence boost.  I want to be the person people look at and say, "you are the reason I kept going" or "you are my inspiration". I want people, of all ages and lifestyles, to realize nothing will ever hold them back from their dreams as long as they set their mind on the prize and never let anything get them down. 
I plan on keeping my blog family updated on my journey to hopefully accomplish this long time dream of mine and in the end have something wonderful to show for my efforts and hard work.  I would love if my blog family would join me in praying for me and my body during this time to not only focus on this dream but also to not lose focus on the one that gave it all.  God has given so much for me in my life and blessed me beyond my dreams.  I asking Him for help through yet, another journey and hope you will do the same. 

Broccoli Salad Recipe

This blog is a little different...not a full meal recipe but one of my favorite snacks I make to keep in the fridge during the week. Broccoli is a great vegetable to eat regularly for everyone but especially great for lupus patients, leafy greens are key food groups for us! Many people that make this broccoli salad use alternative items than I do, it just depends on what you prefer. Personally, I'm the only one that eats this in my house so one cluster of broccoli is plenty for me.
> Cut the flower head off the stem and chop it all up so there aren't large chunks of broccoli.
I add the following but other options are great too-again it's preference.
> Red onion
> Shredded cheddar cheese
> Chopped tomatoes (or cherry tomatoes)
> Raisins or craisins.
> Almonds (many people use sunflower seeds, walnuts, etc...I prefer almonds)
> Some people add bacon bits (I leave this out because of high sodium in the bacon)

For the dressing:
> Greek yogurt (about a cup- I start with less and add as needed)
> Lemon juice (to taste)
> Honey (to taste- don't put too much or it will make it too sweet)
> Fresh dill (to taste)
> Pepper

I'm terrible at measuring stuff out so I start small with the amounts and work from there depending on how I want it to taste. Mix all this together in a bowl with a lid and eat on it for snacks instead of potato chips or cookies during the day. Enjoy. :)

Selfish vs. Silver lining.

Before verbally hearing the news about the dangers of conceiving I had begun preparing myself for the worst. I thought about, of course, my dreams of carrying a child not coming true, the effect it would have on my husband, and the effect it would have on our marriage. Many times news such as this can drive a wedge between a husband and wife. Thank goodness I have the most wonderful husband that, on a daily basis reminds me that it doesn't matter if I'm swollen from head to toe, breaking out from the medicine like a 13 year old girl going through puberty all over again, or can't personally carry our child, he still, and always will, love me regardless. I struggle with this because I don't always love me so how could someone else feel so strongly about me when they know how I'm feeling?
Given the information the doctor told us and knowing how much my dear husband wants a child as much as I do I often feel selfish. I'm not sure I'm willing, at this point, to risk putting my body through the stress it would undergo with the IVF treatment, with the risks of carrying our own child, and sometimes even the emotional toll it would take with any decision we make. It goes without saying, I obviously want to make my husband the happiest man possible, but at what cost will my body have to pay?
I have always been the type to make jokes and be silly to cover the pain I feel emotionally everyday. Some may see it as me just being positive so we can call it that! ;) I told my husband that the positive of me not being pregnant...he won't have to deal with the hormones that come with pregnancy, he won't have to listen to me complain about my body changing, and he won't have to run out in the middle of the night to get ice cream, or whatever it is I might crave. More positive notes, I can, for once in my life, really focus on me. I can finally take the time to make my diet the way I know it needs to be and the way I want it to be as well as focus on getting the body I have always dreamed of having without anything holding me back, including carrying extra weight to make sure we could conceive. He laughs at my jokes of course but I can't help but feel that I'm still being so selfish because I know his dream as well as mine.
At this point all we know to do is turn to prayer. We pray for God's will in our lives. We have started searching for devotions to help us cope and we have learned to rely on each other. We have to be the strength where the other is weak and pray for each other as well as our future!

Unfortunate News

Starting at a young age, a girl dreams of two days, her wedding day and the day she has children. For many years I've always worried about my chances of conceiving, as well as being able to carry my own child safely. Being diabetic and having hypothyroidism, doctors were already concerned with the safety of me along with how safe the pregnancy would be for the baby.  We had began trying to conceive December 2012 and in April 2013 we discovered why it wasn't working when I was diagnosed with lupus. When I was diagnosed with lupus this added an entire new level of concern. There are two types of medicine to help control lupus symptoms, one is safe for young patience still wanting to have children in the future, the other not so safe. Currently, being that I am only 25, the doctors want me to try the "safe" medicine to hopefully have the chance at having a family in the future.
Before even discussing the new dangers of pregnancy with a doctor, Paul and I discussed the many issues we may face in the future and what options we have and want to consider. Of course there is adoption, surrogacy, freezing embryos, and we even discussed not having children at all, which we both agreed we didn't want to not have children. We asked the doctor what her thoughts were about freezing embryos to have stored in case to allow me to still carry our child later, even if the medicine had to be changed. She agreed with freezing and storing the embryos but referred me to a specialist to find out more details. Being a fan of the reality show, Giuliana and Bill, I presented the idea of a gestational carrier, or surrogate. If I can't safely carry our child, we could possibly freeze embryos to later have implanted into another willing and able body to carry for us.
All of these options range anywhere from $10,000-$50,000, which we knew would take a financial toll on us but we were willing to sacrifice to be able to have our dream of a family. We finally met with the fertility specialist and got some not so fortunate news.  First, he informed us of the extreme danger my life as well as the baby's life would be in if I tried to carry myself. Diabetics alone can go into labor as early as 29 weeks, which decreases the chance of the baby surviving, as well as putting my life in great danger to the point it could kill me. Hypertension is dangerous for pregnancy as well and can also cause premature birth and even more issues for the mother. The lupus could possibly flare up mid-pregnancy due to the stress it places on the body causing possible birth defects from the medicine as well as, yet again, premature labor. So what now?
"Is freezing and storing embryos a better route for us to go?" We asked the specialist. He told us we could try but for two perfectly healthy individuals the freezing of embryos is a 50/50 chance of success and ours would be a great deal lower. He told us I would need to get off most of my medicine to retrieve the eggs not to mention the IVF I would have to take could also make me relapse and push me back in accomplishing remission. He told us it wasn't completely out of the question but he would run some test and see if he could even retrieve my eggs.
We had a lot to think about and pray about. Knowing my health issues could be passed down to our children is a major concern if everything else went smoothly. We need a great deal of support and prayer to help us in this decision making over the next few months as we decide what our future would look like.